She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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