Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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