Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize