You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
