I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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