If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
