I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize