I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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