you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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