She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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