I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
