So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
