Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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