I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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