I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
