Just fell off a train. Bad.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
