he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
