It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize