The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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