She's JV to your varsity
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
