Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
