i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
