Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize