I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
