mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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