We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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