OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize