I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he thought i was a dude.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
