Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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