Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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