She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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