ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
