Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
