FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
