Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
