This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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