Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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