just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
