He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
