I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
