did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
