well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize