I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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