Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
