she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
