He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
