it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
