I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
