Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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