I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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