He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
