So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
