Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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