Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize
