I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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