How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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