my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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