And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
