Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Randomize
