Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
