Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
operation have a gay friend backfired
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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