I love black thongs
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
