How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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