Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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